Zodiac Shocker: Taylor Swift is an Ophiuchus

Posted on January 14, 2011

Chaos erupted after an astronomy professor from the University of Minnesota gave an interview in which he explained that because of the wobble of the Earth and the passage of 3,000 years since the Zodiac signs were labeled for astrology purposes, the position of the Earth has changed. So now we actually have 13 zodiac signs, which pushes everyone back roughly a month. So many people who used to be Cancers are now Geminis, which is quite a change.

The new sign is called Ophiuchus and Taylor Swift's birthday falls under that sign. Other stars who are born under the new sign include Britney Spears (Born Dec. 2), Julianne Moore (Born Dec. 3), Jay-Z (Born Dec. 4), Brad Pitt (Born Dec. 18), Nicki Minaj (Born Dec. 8), Vanessa Hudgens (Born Dec. 14) and Christina Aguilera (Born Dec. 18), according to CBS News.

So who or what is Ophiuchus? It's a constellation of a man holding a snake (the constellation Serpens). One myth says the constellation is actually Apollo wrestling with a python to gain control of the Oracle at Delphi. Another myth says the figure is the healer Asclepius, who learned about healing herbs from serpents. Zeus placed him in the heavens. He felt a bit guilty for blasting old Asclepius with a lightning bolt so he wouldn't cure humanity of all its ills. The symbol for Ophiuchus looks a bit like the caduceus.

Many astrologers say they know all about Ophiucus and that in the West they use the tropical style of astrology which based on seasons, so it doesn't really change anyone's sign. We're not buying that for a minute. There are 13 constellations and we can't just ignore Ophiucus just because it is unpronounceable unless you speak Greek. We must rigorously apply scientific principles to our astrology. What's that you say? The astronomer in question doesn't believe in astrology at all and astrology has nothing to do with science? What a killjoy you are. Here are the new signs:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11 - April 18
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Taurus: May 13 - June 21
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20